I read a lot of books, I love fiction and, non-fiction, business and travel guides, poetry, biographies and cookbooks. I have to say though, the books that I love the most are the ones that truly shake me to the core, the ones that make me question all my beliefs and inspire me to explore further.
I discovered "Awareness" by Anthony de Mello S.J. (Jesuits for those non-Catholics out there!!) about 9 years ago and I pick it up often to further explore his concepts. Today I wanted to share with you his opening chapter (in brief):
Spirituality means waking up. Most people, even though they don't know it, are asleep. They're born asleep, they live asleep, they marry in their sleep...they die...without ever waking up. They never understand the loveliness and the beauty of this thing that we call human existence.
When I first read this last line I sat up and heard him talking to me; he was right, I had been living with my heart closed and fumbling my way through depression for so long, I could not wrap my head around concepts of "loveliness" and "beauty".
...people don't really want to be cured. What they want is relief; a cure is painful...Waking up is unpleasant...You are nice and comfortable in bed. It's irritating to be woken up.
At first reading, I did not get this part fully. My teacher had warned I was embarking on a painful journey; I didn't believe him either. Both were correct - as we move towards awareness we need to shed layers of ourselves that no longer serve a purpose and quite frankly, that hurts like hell.
I have spent the last 9 years on a path of personal study, yoga and trying to wake up. It is a work in progress (one of the reasons we call it a practice!!) and I still have a long long path to travel.
I hope I am going to be wise here and make no attempt whatsoever to wake you up if you are asleep. It is really none of my business, even though I say to you at times, "Wake up!" My business is to do my thing, to dance my dance. If you profit from it fine; if you don't, too bad!
This part I have not yet learned and today I am making a public commitment to work more fully with this idea. I am on my own path, you are on yours. If the paths cross and meander along together so be it.
As the Arabs say, "The nature of rain is the same, but it makes thorns grow in the marshes and flowers in the garden".
Yoga has taken me so far on this journey; I love having a constant companion to whom I can turn daily for guidance and support, a kick in the pants and a shoulder to cry on. I would not have the srength to do this alone.
Namaste.
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